Archive for November, 2010

Public sector pensions – what do you mean you won’t tell me!

Write to your MP or anyone in Government and ask them for the amount that Public Sector pensions represent of total expenditure relative to the Private Sector? Will they tell you? Well your MP doesn’t actually know and can’t find out – the Treasury don’t report their figures like that sorry. They will tell you what Defense spending is but not what amount of Defense spending is related to pensions. Who asks the difficult questions of Government I wonder?

Typically a Public Sector worker will accumulate 1/60th of their final salary for each year worked. If they contribute 5%, i.e. 1/20th each year, so 1/20th of their average salary, and let’s say that their salary doesn’t increase, then for 10 years of work and a total contribution of 50% of their annual salary ONCE they receive circa 17% of their salary from the age of 60 EVERY YEAR!

Total madness whoever thought up this scheme – this is a bigger Ponzi scheme than Madoff’s!

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Finally Gelernter goes mainstream in The Economist

The virtual world mirrors the real world. It’s coming.

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Quantitative Easing – why?

The Government buys its own bonds from banks with money that it creates. Bond prices go up, interest rates go down and banks keep buying bonds of which there is a good supply since Governments are so indebted. The money supply goes up, there is no impact on economic activity except via two mechanisms – interest rates being low reduces borrowing costs for those on variable rates and the exchange rate weakens boosting exports. The latter is the undeclared objective – it is called “beggar thy neighbour”. It doesn’t work. When will journalists stop pandering and call a spade a spade?

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A few great puns

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the camp wall. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other: ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in  Paris , you’d be in Seine .

21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons.
The stewardess looks at him and says, ‘I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.’

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall..  One turns to the other and says ‘Dam!’

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.
Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet.
One says, ‘I’ve lost my electron.’
The other says ‘Are you sure?’
The first replies, ‘Yes, I’m positive.’

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?

His goal: transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends,
with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.  No pun in ten did.

Two fish swim into a concrete wall..  One turns to the other and says ‘Dam!’

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